So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
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