I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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