Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
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