Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
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