I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize