Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
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