Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
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