Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize