There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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