I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
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