I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
