I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Hi I love you will you be up for a while!
That exclamation point was a drunk decision
Randomize
