Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize