Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Randomize
