The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
