Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
Bring the cards this coming weekend. If I'm not here I died skydiving Friday
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
