the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Randomize
