just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
