I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
Quick, to the slutcave!
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Randomize
