do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
my liver is dry heaving
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