Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
