Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
im just going to make a prayer circle of top ramen packets and cheap beer
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
