dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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