I wish I could teleport
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Randomize
