yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
