Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
i would one night stand the shit outta him
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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