Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
We had sex on a dog bed..
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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