I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Vodka?
Forever.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
