you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize