what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
