She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
even if everyone didnt know them screaming eskimo brothers and high fiveing over my head kinda gave it away
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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