yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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