He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
I'm sorry you had to knock him out on your birthday. But that also means I won the bet that you'd hit someone so you owe me 40. dollars
Randomize
