Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Can I color on your dick again?
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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