Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Randomize
