she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
Randomize
