How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Randomize
