We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
We just filmed our own version of iron chef. The secret ingreient was whisky.
What did you cook with whisky?
We started a fire.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
