He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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