Ambien. No doubt about it.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Randomize
