but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize