Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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