Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
