3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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