Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
