Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
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