You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
thank god we only have to drink eggnog and rum once a year. It taste like shit.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
