This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
