i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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