I think I won the penis lottery.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
then mid-sex he looked at me and said "i hope this is as good for you as it is for me" and kept going.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Randomize
