Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
