You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize
