then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
