Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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