I accidentally asked my mom for a blowjob because 'mom' and 'molly' are next to each other in my address book.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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