Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
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