yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize
