I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
Randomize
