Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Randomize
