who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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