Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
foreskin is a definite game changer
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Randomize
