it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
Randomize