who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I need to calm my uterus...
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
